Ashes

Oh, demolisher of my virginity and divinity! Where do you stand?

Be it soil, air or water

She’ll merge her

Mind, body and spirit

Transmute and alchemise her pain

into something formidable

She’ll color your hands

If you pay attention to her

So touch her gently

Because she knows how to

Leave her marks behind

Born from a harrowing fire

So don’t trifle with her

She gives birth to massive phoenixes

Which know only to rise and devour

And spit out nothing but dust

She remains after fire recedes

She stays well after everyone

Allied with the five elements of Earth

It’s a blessing and a curse

She’ll carry your poison and her love

I’d think twice before battering

Fondling, vandalizing her divine self

She would always come back

To swallow and guzzle

Whatever it was that sent her blazing

And when she approaches

Your herculean strength would run for the hills

She’ll set your puny self aflame

Her divinity isn’t to be questioned

So now reap what you’ve sown

Even oblivion would tempt you

Over what you’ll endure

You’ll lose your mind, body and spirit

To the five element of earth

Your soulless self now weak and fragile

She’ll amble the happy fields of god

You shall stick with the fallen angels

Dante showed where we’ll find you

We’ll torment you from above

While you writhe in raw pain

You’ll scream for help as you’re cut,

Destroyed, battered, marred and boiled

Now enjoy the company of the

Self claimed “oh so powerful beings”

You’ll die a million deaths but never turn to heap

Sagacious

Equilibrium

I don’t know why they stare,

It’s not as if I

Lay my body bare.

Even if I did,

They don’t have a right

To judge what they see,

And touch what they see.

Because they hurt something

Deep inside of me

That no one can see.

So how dare they encroach

Upon my bubble,

It’s my space and refuge

How dare they write novels

On something they don’t know.

How do you imagine

And turn it into a false truth.

Just to ruin someone’s

Entire reality.

How can such a thing

Make someone feel better than?

When really it makes you

Lesser than everything.

How do you breathe this way?

Where is your moral compass?

Have you passed it up

For your two second of false joy

Or have you given it up?

So you can be comfortable

In your dark and gloomy life.

Words never die.

The frequencies reach the sky

Until they cannot bounce anymore.

So they stay stagnant

But they’re alive.

You’re here, I’m here.

They’re here, and

So are your words.

Between all of us

Words will outlive us.

So the universe shall remember

The poison you’ve spouted,

For no reason whatsoever.

It shall tilt to balance

Its scales and bring peace

Between the guilty and the victim.

So honey, you can’t escape,

Run for the hills, beg for mercy

For oblivion awaits us all.

So you’ll see what you get,

I’ll see what I get,

They’ll see what they get.

But you can’t hide now.

You picked your battles

You must fight now.

Fighting, as futile as it would be

For everyone gets what they deserve

So live, love and laugh

Till the scales align.

Then I’ll sit back and watch

But I won’t rejoice.

I’m at peace with myself

Unlike you and your blind followers

I picked my battles

But I’m not fighting you all.

Ameliorate

Everything is life is a choice. Whether you are making your choice consciously or sub-consciously. It’s still a choice. So choose wisely.

A lot of people believe that things are happening to them, as opposed to happening for them. I firmly believe that there are always two sides of a coin. And that’s a fact. But this fact too, goes both ways. Either you can have ten swords in your back, fall onto the cold, hard ground and stay there. Or you can get up with the swords still in your back and move forward. As you move forward, you would get rid of those swords one by one. The process is not easy and definitely isn’t a quick fix. Now we come to another fact, Rome was not built in a day or nothing ever good comes easy. This fact goes both ways too. You have to work hard to achieve your dreams and maintain yourself. So why not work hard when it comes to healing yourself. Aren’t the severed parts yours?

Another thing people say is that healing takes time. But if you healed fast would it be justice to the searing pain that you endured. The universe has to balance the scales. Newton said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So when you were hurt so badly, cut so deeply; how do you expect yourself to heal easily? It would not be justice to the pain involved. And anyway, we’ve heard that pain demands to be felt. Healing takes time. So give it the time it needs, and the time you deserve.

Many say, that they don’t have the strength to get back up by themselves. No one said that you have to do it alone. The rules of healing are not set in stone. In fact, nothing ever is set in stone. It’s our imagination, customs, norms, values and beliefs that make us think that something is set in stone. So, ask for help. It’s hard to get out but extend your fingers. Someone will hold onto you. Something will hold onto you. After that, you just have to hold onto them. This life has endless possibilities to change. This life has endless courses to take. This life has amazing potential to evolve and bring happiness into itself. But you have to believe in it, so it can grow. We come across another saying here, I’ve heard that parents should believe in their little ones for them to make leaps and bounds of progress. Anything can make progress if you believe in it. So shower some appreciation onto your working lungs, kidneys and heart. Be grateful for this body as it has endured so much and is still standing. It’s the one thing you had since the start. It is going to stay till the very end too.

We come to our last saying for the day, being grateful and positive is the key to happiness and abundance. It plays a part in healing too. So give out positive affirmations into the universe and let yourself believe in them. Be grateful for what you have and appreciate the little things in life. Being happy starts with you and ends with you. Everyday you can choose to be sad or happy. It’s a choice. You can choose for yourself, if you want to be messy and zesty or work your ass off on something that’s important to you. Or you can be both and still be well withing your rights to be you. The key is you, no matter which lock you want to open. And every lock has a key.

Assiduous

Whelve

Step up

And find purpose

Receive, relieve

Bow down, believe

Pray and hustle

Time to buckle

Up and row

Your own boat

Affirm, positivity

Love those around you

Gratitude to those who doubted you

For life is short

The planet’s dying

Box up all your memories

Before you start running

Out of time on this earth

So take that little stroll

Down the road

Make that little paper boat

For you can find joy in God’s humble abode

Earn your coin

Generously use and distribute

For hoarding is futile

And unnecessary

So leave what isn’t

Run after what can be

Build what is takes

And ruin what doesn’t give

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst

For storms pose threat

But are just a way to purge

So rise up and above the clouds

Embrace the new in the now

And hold on to the good old

That seem to wire you right

For you are born

And hold the key to rebirth

You have the power

You can dominate the whole world.

Philophobia

Cingulomania

He talks like man,

Acts like a scrub

Makes you forget, 

That actions speak louder than words.

Promises and lies

Starts and surprise

He’ll say he loves you,

But really isn’t sure about you.

He thinks he’s slick, because he can manipulate.

She feels it before you say it

She can put you, in your place.

She scares that boy,

He feels he’s not enough.

He fails to see her love

And now he acts surprised.

Ted bundy, we can all be him.

But for that boy,

She was willing to leave

Behind her Reina days.

Only he turned himself 

Over to his demons

And gave up on this

Beautiful union

Now that boy is sad

While she is calm.

Because she got rid of her demons for him

And he got stuck in his own little game.

Gezellig

Amitié

One day the world will change.
You will change,
I will change.
But your essence would remain,
For ultimately we evolve.

So I trust you to pull me out
If I hole up
For this happiness you bring me
Is of permanence
For the love you give
Is of permanence

So I believe,
When you and i will be
Caught up in the whirlpool
Of change,
We will hold on to each other

And together we hold on
To our friendship
So no matter how deadly
The water is
We remain high, just like the waves
Who rise, who fall
And eventually come home.

Law of attraction

When you’re chasing love. Is love chasing you?

Ring, ring, ring!

Red flags and green lights
Don’t be confused,
Usually they’re alike.

How to decipher?
No one ever knew.
So, take the plunge
And measure the shallows.

If its deep,
Then don’t fret.
Either, you’ll drown
Or you’ll swim up for air.

Are you back up?
Are they leaving in a boat now?
Don’t be afraid, you love them.
So chase, swim, dive deep.

Oh! Did you not make it?
So, they left again?
It’s okay, drown for them.
Maybe they’ll come again?

So they didn’t, fear not
Come to land,
Do you realise now?
You’ll find love only when you can stand.

So, met someone on the soil?
Amazing, isn’t it?
Similarities, likes
Arguments, dislikes.

Oh, now they’re with someone else?
How come, I wonder!
Maybe because you lost yourself.
Not to the deep waters, but to the person themselves.

Tired, are you? You don’t want to chase?
Do you not want to be loved anymore?
You do but you won’t chase.
Why, they’re asking.

Tell them, you’re in your zen place.
Where you’re real and spirited.
You’re at peace with yourself.
So guess what you’ll attract now?

Life, as I’ve known it..

Vorfreude

Happiness she brought
Among those who were near,
Opened her eyes to the father
Who she always held dear.
Opened her heart to the mother
Who was a little farther.
She pulled her close with
Her hazel eyes and hazel hair.

Little princess, youngest member
Oldest child, responsible sister
A B C D E F G H, together recited
The mother and the child; laughed along
With their hearts bare.
Sticks, dusters, slaps, slippers
Huge enemies, patient teachers
Who knew she would thank,
In times to come, her hated peers.

Papa, dad, father, pops
Enchanting was the day they hiked
And collected rocks.
Creeks and tiny fish,
Such robustness, such ecstasy.

First, second, third, fourth
Classes, friends, new teachers.
New people, new songs
Blessed she was, to have found
Such a safe haven,
Cherished it to her full satisfaction.

Fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth
Books so many, expectations so high
For she was the responsible sister
Turned into an ideal figure
Lived up to those moments
With rigor so tall
Battled with those
Who wanted to see her fall

Ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth
Core years, lifetime friends
Lessons learnt, rhythmic heartbeats
Mind opened, imagination liberated
Hard work, resilience, perseverance
With kindness and liveliness
Learnt that above all
What lives on, is her essence

No one can take away
Who she was.
She fell in love
With herself and her ways.
Colleges, universities,
Bachelor’s, Master’s and PhD,
earned her marks, earned her degrees.

Carried with her friends she promised,
ten years ago,
on that farewell day.
For old is gold,
but new is silver.
Met people, who impacted,
her in several ways.

Thirties came, brought with it
an ambition so great.
Climbed the corporate ladder
Held her sessions with villagers.
Ticked off her bucket list
In a pompous manner.
Proud she was, but grateful
For lessons learnt in her days of youth.

Forties, fifties, sixties
Marriage, responsibilities, love and pain.
Took it all in her stride
For she was already trained.
Children, tantrums, cute but not.
Brought with them,
Waves of euphoria.
Head held high, full of energy
Aligned herself to new titles and duties

So the cycle repeated itself,
But now she was revisiting,
What she had lived, now in front her
Breathed her own reflection.
Reciting and collecting rocks,
Felt such a surge of emotions
She didn’t know she was capable of.

With newfound respect
For her ideal figures.
Her mother and her father
She visited home in many years.
Life as we know it
Always come full circle.

Seventies, eighties
She saw herself
In her ageing mother.
For she was nothing
But a reflection of her.
She saw her father’s ways
Held his hand, spent with him her days

Now I sit in this rocking chair
Going back and forth,
With my hazel eyes and hazel hair.
Watching my grandchild smile
As he recites, and collects pebbles.
I smile a tired smile
For life was stuck on loop.

I go outside and sit on the porch
A question comes to mind
Time will come and I will depart
So what was this life?
The answer was in front of me
In the laughter of my grandchild,
In the worry on his mother’s face,
In the eyes of his father,
And in the touch of my partner.

Life as I know, always thrives.
The show goes on,
No matter how much
You try to hide.
So I open my arms yet again
Embracing life with all I have.
For this life has fulfilled,
What I once thought
Wasn’t there for me.

Ephemeral Kalopsia

A rose quartz symbolizes love? Or does it symbolize being in love? Or is it all about being in love with the feeling of love or the idea of an ideal love?

Honey, they’re so loud.

I want you to shut them out.

I want you to be mine forever,

Promise I’ll keep you happy forever.

You say they don’t care about you,

You say, they don’t care about us

Then, why can’t you cut them off?

Why can’t you love me forever?

Tell me baby, do you care?

Does your advice “oh you shouldn’t care!”

Not apply when it’s them?

You lie, baby you hide,

But what’s the point?

I just wanted you

I just wanted an Us

For you said you loved me

And us together

But you lied, you hid, you hurt me

What did anyone gain out of this fake redamancy?

But I can promise you

My mind is aware

Of what they say to you

I know you don’t agree from within

But you still listen

And that’s an inconsistency

Because you can’t protect

What you say you love

Maybe you just wear your masks everywhere you go

But I hope they love your empty heart

I hope she fills your empty soul

But for someone like you

Nothing is ever enough

Indecisive and incoherent

Baby, you’re not in touch

Keep looking for that contentment you chase

You won’t find it in the deepest caves

You yourself don’t know

what exactly makes you happy

So you seek the unknown

From other full hearts, because they’re consistent

And you’re a taker at the end, after all.

What was supposed to be background noise,

You made it part of our little world,

And I just listened

because that’s what I do

I thought it’s all important information

So maybe I’m at fault too?

I don’t hate you.

I don’t love you.

I pity you,

I pity them

For no one’s ever going to find out

What they lost is an elysian gem.

Anagapesis

I’m free

When I walk in

They all see me,

The alpha female

Stable grades, stable ways

Pretty eyes, pretty lies.

So, I don’t let them be near

For I don’t want unhealthy fears

I fear loss, I fear pain

But I don’t let them make me inhumane.

It’s rather personable

that you think I’m the wifey thing.

I laugh because even I agree.

But I don’t think you have the balls

to be my husband thing.

People forget when they see this woman

That it takes a man to keep her

Cuz she is worth the diamond

And she doesn’t do the man-child humdrum.

Mommy syndrome, living in a dome

She would do everything, be that doting woman

But only because she wants to, not because she has to.

Naturally, honey, she’s a giver

But doesn’t mean that you

Can be an inhuman taker.

But taking is convenient

Taking is easy, I get it.

But for me what’s not mine

Isn’t supposed to be with me.

I thought I’d fight

tooth and nail for you.

For I loved it when you laughed,

So I took your everything up as my job

And you became my ever unfulfilled boss.

But I hope now you find someone,

Someone you can play your petty games with.

I hope she has your 12 kids,

And I hope you gain the world.

But I know you’ll still be unhappy.

All or none, none or all

As simple as it is with me.

Hope you remain difficult and find someone you can dominate.

For I don’t deal in hoaxes

I keep in love or in absolute hate.

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